Saturday, 27 July 2013

Linguistic bloomers

Spar supermarket, near the till:
‘Our staff are fully trained in credit card fraud’
Men’s toilets at Bristol Airport:
‘In case of terminal evacuation, red lights will flash’
Advert for spray tans in a local newspaper:
‘Visit us with your friend and you can both get spayed for half price’ ( tell us that to spay is to remove the ovaries, and usually the uterus, from a female animal)
Urinals at a law school:
‘Chewing gum and other rubbish can cause a blockage’
Daily Telegraph front-page headline:
‘Act now to beat young thugs’
Scanomat Drinks System:
‘Advanced whipping system’
Picture in The Times:
‘ARMISTICE DAY: WW1 veterans laid reefs at Cenotaph’ (to coral singing?)
Categories on an evaluation form at a seminar:
‘Very good’, ‘Good’, ‘Less than satisfactory’ and ‘Poo’
Boxes of Fabulous Bakin’ Boys’ Triple Chocolate Cupcakes:
‘4King Cupcakes’
Banner outside a pub:
‘Live on Plasma’
Sign outside a shop:
‘Eat healthy – Eat Polish’
Sign in window of hardware shop:
‘Disappearing loft ladders – only two left’
Sign in clearance shop:
‘We limit the number of shoes and boots to 3 per customer per day’
Headline in the Daily Express:
‘Can Dec anally match Ant?’ (Meant to read ‘Can Dec finally match Ant?’)
Headline in local newspaper:
‘Penisoner takes on intruders’
(A tendency to lavatorial humour? Nah, not us.)

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